I have slowly been getting stuffy and losing my voice for the past few days, and it worsened last night. I get sinus infections every Spring and Fall, and have since I started making an annual practice of getting my face crushed by well-meaning but overaged and undercoordinated gents in Columbia and Fulton’s basketball leagues. I have broken my nose four times and two years ago received a minor concussion, and so my sinuses are totally jacked-up and in need of surgery.

So, perhaps needless to say, I have a sinus infection. I woke up feeling a bit under the weather, but prepared for my day as usual, including my 30-minute Thursday morning workout. The workout didn’t help anything and I felt like collapsing at the end of it. When Jessie (and Joseph) woke up around 7:30, I tried talking to them and realized I had no voice. Given the handful of people with swine flu at Karis, I texted in sick to work and made my way to urgent care.

I have spent the whole day trying to fall asleep and trying not to talk–not even to make “gooing” noises with Big Joe, who has become quite the little noise-maker. I don’t feel much better, and am learning a few things about patience.

I am not intrinisically a patient man, I fear. I was actually reading about patience last night while having my usual bedtime bowl of chocolate ice cream. (I buy plain chocolate ice cream then drop a huge glob of peanut butter into it and mix it up.) I’ve been reading John Piper’s massive treatise on faith, The Purifying Power of Living by Faith in Future Grace, for several months, which is to say that I almost never pick up a book and read straight through it without picking up three or four other books before entirely finishing it. Hence the reading list at right. But here’s what Dr. Piper had to say (p. 173):

Patience is the evidence of an inner strength. Impatient people are weak, and therefore dependent on external supports–like schedules that go just right and circumstances that support their fragile hearts. Their outbursts of oaths and threats and harsh criticisms of the culprits who crossed their plans do not sound weak. But that noise is all a camouflage of weakness. Patience demands tremendous inner strength. For the Christian, this strength comes from God.

Piper’s thesis is that true faith is the embracing of spiritual beauty; that is, “being satisfied with all that God is for us in Jesus” (p. 206). It’s not enough to trust the grace we received from God in the past. Rather true faith trusts that God will be gracious to us in the future and we hope in his promises. The Old Testament patriarchs, priests, and prophets looked forward to the coming of the Messiah. The New Testament apostles and church planters looked forward to the return of Christ and the resurrection of all things for his glory. Today, we “lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and [we] run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1-2).

The man of patience can believe in all seasons, and in all states of health and fitness, the lament of the prophet Jeremiah (Lamentations 3:25):

The Lord is good to those who wait for him.

Be easy, folks.

Jeremy (deacon for c-groups)

Back in the fall, Southern Seminary professor and friend Bruce Ware joined us for “Theology Weekend.” It was an honor to have him with us for the weekend.  It was especially great to have some time to informally chat with a hero of mine in the faith.  We had lunch at Addison’s, and I shared with him my struggles with joylessness and anxiety that have been constant battles in church planting.  He shared two words with me that I hope stay with me for the rest of my life.  They are:

Dependence

Thanksgiving

There’s nothing really complicated about this, friends.  His point was that if we realize how dependent on the Lord we are and live conscious of that reality, we can’t help but see what God does and then live as thankful, joyful people.  It’s in thinking it’s all up to us, being dependent upon ourselves and our strength, that we find ourselves grumbling and worrying.  Dependence, of course, gets expressed in prayer, particularly petitions, as we go about our days, asking God to work.  Thanksgiving also gets expressed in prayer, looking more like prayers of praise.  Seeking to become dependent and thankful, we become prayerful.  And that prayerfulness makes us more and more dependent and thankful.

I was hit deeply by Bruce’s words.  But, of course, I filed them and then went back to my self-reliant, anxious life.  Then, a couple of weeks ago, in the midst of some amazing things happening - things only God could do - I found myself really worn down and desperate for a break.  I was sapped of my strength.  But it was if God was saying, “Kev, look what I am doing.  You need to rest.  You need to trust me.”  I’d heard horror stories of church planters like Mark Driscoll and Darrin Patrick wearing themselves ragged, literally making themselves sick in the process of launching a church.  I knew I was well on the way toward that.

But God has recently used a couple of other things that have brought back to mind Bruce’s words and are giving me hope.  First, I’ve been reading this fantastic book entitled Spirit Empowered Preaching by Art Azurdia.  It has reminded me of my great need to rely on God the Spirit in everything I do, but particularly in my preaching.  I will post a more detailed review of the book later, but God has used it greatly in my life.

Second, today my friend Kevin Cawley of Redeemer Fellowship came and preached this morning at Karis (listen to it here).  He looked at Mark 2-3, teaching us about the Sabbath.  It was the best message on the issue that I’ve heard.  He really reminded me that I needed to rest and acknowledge God’s work.  He challenged me to see that my lack of rest was due to my idolatry - trying to build my own kingdom and get the glory for myself.  I’ll mention more about the sermon in this week’s Gathering review, but God really spoke to me through the message.

The book I’ve been reading and the talk I heard today really served to reinforce those two big words I want to continue to impact me deeply - or, should I say, impact me truly this time.  Do you live a dependent life?  Do you rely on God for everything?  If you do, you’ll be thankful.  If you don’t, you’ll be anxious.  Pray for me.  Go before the Lord yourself.  Ask Him to do whatever it takes to get you and me to that peaceful state of trust in Him.

Slate is no fan of Christianity. But they seem to know the “faith once for all delivered to the saints” more than many professing believers. Check out their words here. Here is a powerful quote:

There’s, of course, nothing inherently suspect or dishonorable about seeking uplift and consolation in the Bible. But the point of those “deep theological doctrines” that Osteen seems to deride is to leaven that quest with the less agreeable features of life—pain and suffering, the persistence of evil, the fleeting quality of all endeavor, the cosmic insignificance of the human self, let alone that self’s subordinate chosen modes of expression in body posture or a near-pathological penchant for smiling. After all, the same Bible that Lakewood’s arena full of believers champion as a handbook for what they can do and be also contains these words, in Revelation 3:17: “Thou sayest, I am rich and increased with goods, and have need of nothing: and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked.”

I was reading this helpful primer on presuppositional apologetics when I came across this timely quote:

The non-Christian world often judges the value of the gospel by the consistency of life observable in the believer. At church, work, or at home, we render our defense ineffectual by inconsistencies in our lives. On occasion one can hear a Christian defending the faith before an unbeliever and at the same time attacking his Christian brethren with whom he has differences on secondary matters. Such Christians often fail to realize that their outspoken opposition to other believers actually hinders their defense of the faith. In fact, there is hardly a greater obstacle to Christian apologetics than the fighting and bickering which goes on in the church. Jesus showed his concern about the affect of disunity on the church’s testimony to the world by saying, “I in them and Thou in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, that the world may know that Thou didst send Me… (John 17:23). We must fill our churches with Christian love and unity if we are to be convincing to a world of disbelief (Richard Pratt, Every Thought Captive: A Study Manual for the Defense of Christian Truth)

Josh Harris posted on his blog this week an article from a friend named Isaac Hydoski on online dating.  This is as good as it gets on the subject.  Quite honestly, as a pastor, the whole thing gave me the weebie-jeebies just a bit, but I wasn’t sure what to say in response.  Now, I don’t want Karis to be hard-core and legalistic about this, but I think this sums up my concerns quite well.  Best about the article is the robust ecclesiology that is at its foundation.  For example, check out this section listed under “concerns”:

Loss of protection from church community
• Many singles in our community are not involving family or friends in this process due the “stigma” associated with online dating.
• You lose the benefit of dating someone known by others you trust.
• You do not have the benefit of seeing the fruit of their life lived out in a local church context.
• Your impressions of the potential match are almost entirely dependent on their self-disclosure and are subject to their honesty or lack thereof.

Yes, that’s a huge problem with online dating.  You don’t get to live in the context of the church with the person and see him or her in action, and your brothers and sisters in Christ are removed from the process when they should be your primary source of encouragement and accountability.  Great stuff!  Check out the rest of it here.