It was a great day in the life of Karis Sunday.  We worshipped together Sunday morning in the Upper Crust, as the Missouri Theatre Center for the Arts had an event in their “Hot Summer Nights” concert series.  Aarik Danielsen preached from Luke 13:22-25 and did a great job.  Luke and the band did an unplugged set that really focused us on Jesus, as usual.

Additionally, later that evening, we met at the amphitheatre just outside the courthouse and spent some time singing, praying, hearing from God’s word, and prayer-walking downtown.  The event was a part of our ongoing summer series, “Awakening,” focusing on biblical revival.  Bobby Schembre, a great Karis intern, led the singing.  I shared some brief words about Isaiah 64:1-4.  Some pictures of that night are at the bottom of this post.

Karis Community Church - The Gathering - Sunday, June 28th, 2009 10:00 am
The Call
Isaiah 55:6-9 - Luke Daugherty

Opening Song
Infinite Divine (Joe Day)

The Gospel
We Have Not Known Thee (Lyrics: Thomas Benson Pollack; Music and Arrangement: Krista Wheeler and Tim Smith)
Psalm 32:5
Colossians 1:19-23a (Corporate)
Only Hope (Charles Wesley, Randall Goodgame)
Give Us Clean Hands (Charlie Hall)
Hebrews 9:11-14

Welcome
Passing the Peace
Welcome - Kevin Larson

The Word Preached
Jesus in the Margins: Jesus, Our Door to the Kingdom - Aarik Danielsen (Luke 13:22-35)

The Supper
Before the Throne of God Above (Vikki Cook / Charitie L. Bancroft (1841-1892)
The Bread and the Cup

The Prayer
Prayers of the Church - Lynn Bruning

Closing Song
What Love Is (Words: Joel Lindsay; Music: Joel Lindsay and Allen Schwamb)
Receiving the Offering

The Sending
Hebrews 10:19-25 (corporate)

Jesus, Our Door to the Kingdom (Luke 13:22-35) - 6.28.09 - Aarik Danielsen

The Kingdom defined (J. Linneman):
The Kingdom of God is the community of victory where the Father sovereignly reigns over all His redeemed creation, including His children that have been obtained by the life, death, and resurrection of Christ and filled by the Holy Spirit.

Jesus as our door to the kingdom defies our sensibilities:
1. The Kingdom is exclusive (v. 24, 27-28)
Are we to believe that the atheist road (which says there is no God), the agnostic road (which is unsure if there is a God), and the Hindu road (which says there are millions of gods) all lead to the same place? Are we to believe that the road that says there is no life after death, the road that says you reincarnate, and the road that says you stand before Jesus for judgment and sentencing to eternal heaven or hell all lead to the same place? Are we truly to believe that the road that says we save ourselves leads to the same place as the road that says only Jesus can save us? (Mark Driscoll, Vintage Jesus)

It is always narrow, constricted, and difficult to pass through to some persons, and it will be so as long as the world exists in its present form. It is narrow to all who love sin, and are determined not to part with it. It is narrow to all who set their affection on this world, and seek first its pleasures and rewards. It is narrow to all who dislike trouble, and are unwilling to take pains and make sacrifices for their souls. It is narrow to all who like company, and want to keep in with the crowd. It is narrow to all who are self-righteous, and think they are good people, and deserve to be saved. To everyone, the great door, which Christ made, is narrow and constricted. In vain they seek to pass through. The door will not admit them. God is not unwilling to receive them; their sins are not too many to be forgiven: but they are not willing to be saved God’s way. Thousands, for many, many centuries, have tried to make the doorway wider: thousands have worked and toiled to get to heaven on their terms. But the door never changes. It is not expandable: it will not stretch to accommodate one man more than another. It is still the narrow door. (J.C. Ryle)

2. Entering the Kingdom does not come on our timetable (v. 25, 33)
3. The Kingdom is no respecter of background or religion (v. 26-28)
4. Entering the Kingdom is about knowing and being known by God (v. 27)
5. The Kingdom is inclusive (v.29-30)

Misunderstanding salvation has tragic consequences
1. A graphic picture of remorse + anger (v. 28)
2. The tragedy of missing God’s blessing (v. 28, 35)
3. Eternal judgment (v. 27-28, 35)

Jesus is the Savior sufficient to make sense of it all
1. Being one with God, He sees salvation from every angle
a. Prophet (v. 31-34)
b. Judge (v. 25-27)
c. The Savior who will bring the kingdom to completion (v. 31-33)
2. His lament reveals his heart (v. 34)
Think “what a privilege” it is to even have a door at all. The angels who did not remain faithful to God, fell, never to rise again. To them there was no door of escape opened. Millions of pagans have never heard of any way to eternal life. What would they have given, if they could only have heard one clear sermon about Christ? The Jews in Old Testament times saw only the door dimly and far away…You have the door set plainly before you: you have Christ and full salvation offered to you. You never need to be at a loss which way to turn. Oh, consider what a mercy this is! Beware that you do not despise the door and perish in unbelief. Better a thousand times not to know of the door than to know of it and yet remain outside. How will you escape if you neglect so great a salvation? (J.C. Ryle)

Self-examination/3 questions to be asked:
1. What gives us hope for entrance into the kingdom of God?
2. What is our witness to the world?
3. Do we share the heart of Christ?

Praying for Revival (Isaiah 64:1-4) - Outdoor Worship Gathering, 06.28.08 - Kevin Larson

Pray…
with passion (v. 1)

for grace (v. 1)
for power (vv. 2-3)
for wonder (v. 4)
for action (v. 4)
for glory (v. 2)

in faith (v. 4)

I recently finished a fine book entitled, The Reformation: How a Monk and a Mallet Changed the World by Stephen J. Nichols.  I’ve studied the Protestant Reformation quite a bit through the years, but I really enjoyed this book nonetheless.  It is an excellent brief look at this great period of reformation and revival in the church’s history.  It is an engaging, quick read.  I highly recommend it, particularly if you haven’t dug into our rich, Protestant heritage.

This week, my lovely wife Amy and I traveled to Vail, Colorado for the annual Acts 29 Planters’ Retreat.  We joined 125 other planters and their wives for four days of relaxation and encouragement.  Acts 29 generously pays for the whole week.  It was held in the amazing Vail Cascade Resort.  Vail is a beautiful town with lots of cool shops and restaurants and outdoor activities.  It was great to spend several days there with some awesome A29 brothers.  Here are some highlights:

• Hearing of “evidences of grace” in plants all across America and the world.
• Spending a bit of time with Gerald Mwebe, a Ugandan pastor Karis supports.
• Hanging out with the great A29 guys from Missouri, like Steve, Trey, Mike, Jonathan, and Darrin.
• Meeting new guys from all over the country.  These are some of the greatest men around.
• Bowling at the craziest, nicest bowling alley I have ever seen in Eagle.
• Hiking the Cross Creek trail with Amy where we got a view of the Mount of the Holy Cross.
• Eating a fancy dinner right next to the river at “Up the Creek” with all of my midwest region brothers.
• Getting to chat with Mark Driscoll and hearing all the things happening in Acts 29 in his “State of the Network” address.
• Having the opportunity to talk with Ray and Jani Ortlund who are new to Acts 29.  Ray pastors in Nashville.  He is a well-known author and Old Testament scholar.  They’re both visiting Karis in February!
• Spending time with Brian and Jenny Brown of Park Church of Denver.  We recently sent a great couple to their church.  It was a blast to get to know them better.
• Reading my Bible and journaling on the deck with a grand mountain view.
• Swimming in a warm pool with Amy late at night, looking at the stars, hearing the river roar by.
• Related, just spending several days with my wife and lots of great couples who know exactly our struggles and joys.

It was a fabulous time there.  Thanks so much to Scott and Jeannie Thomas and Tyler Powell of Acts 29 for making it happen.  Also thanks to the Ballous, Matt and Alison, for staying with our kids.  We are so incredibly grateful.  Amy will be sharing her thoughts here in the next couple of days.

Last Saturday, June 20th, a group from Karis banded together, as part of our church’s Shalom ministry, to serve some elderly folks with the Boone County Council on Aging.  This organization seeks to serve the elderly of Boone County, and one key way they often need help is with yard work.  Karis, whenever possible, prefers to partner with city and county organizations to seek shalom.  Last weekend, a group of us did some extensive yardwork at a home just off of Paris Road.  Some highlight pics are found below.

Below is our liturgy and sermon points from last Sunday’s Gathering at the Upper Crust.  Brian Weaver did an excellent job leading, as usual.  Note: we’re back in the Theatre this week.

Karis Community Church - The Gathering - Sunday, June 14th, 2009 10:00 am
The Call
Psalm 62:5-8

Opening Songs
With Every Breath (Christine Byrd and Marc Byrd)
Who Is This So Weak and Helpless (William How, Christopher Miner)

The Gospel
Silent Prayer of Confession
Romans 3:23-25a
How Deep the Father’s Love for Us (Stuart Townend)
God Who Saves (Aaron Senseman)

Welcome

Welcome - Rob Gaskin

The Passing of the Peace
The Word Preached - Jesus, Our Readiness: Kevin Larson (Luke 12:35-13:9)

The Supper
Lord, Dissolve My Frozen Heart (Words: Thomas Kelly, 1769-1855. Chorus by Brian T. Murphy. Music: Brian T. Murphy, 2006.)
Come Awake (David Crowder)
Ephesians 5:14b
Serving the Bread and the Cup
The Bread and the Cup

The Prayer
Prayers of the Church - Kate Chute

Closing Song
Rain Down (David Crowder)
Receiving the Offering

The Blessing
Jude 20-21 - Brian Weaver

The Fellowship Offering

Sermon: Jesus, Our Readiness (Luke 12:35-13:9) - Kevin P. Larson
Being ready means being…
1. Watchful (12:35-36)
2. Faithful (12:42-44)
3. Insightful (12:54-56)
4. Fruitful (13:6-9)

Judgment means experiencing…
1. Accountability (12:41-48)
2. Separation (12:51-53)
3. Justice (12:57-59)
4. Destruction (13:1-5)

Jesus, Our Readiness
1. Jesus came to judge
2. Jesus took our judgment
3. Jesus came to serve
Quotes:
There seems to be a kind of conspiracy, especially among middle-aged writers of vaguely liberal tendency, to forget, or to conceal, where the doctrine of Hell comes from. One finds frequent references to the “cruel and abominable mediaeval doctrine of hell,” or “the childish and grotesque mediaeval imagery of physical fire and worms.” …
But the case is quite otherwise; let us face the facts. The doctrine of hell is not “mediaeval”: it is Christ’s. It is not a device of “mediaeval priestcraft” for frightening people into giving money to the church: it is Christ’s deliberate judgment on sin. The imagery of the undying worm and the unquenchable fire derives, not from “mediaeval superstition,” but originally from the Prophet Isaiah, and it was Christ who emphatically used it…. It confronts us in the oldest and least “edited” of the gospels: it is explicit in many of the most familiar parables and implicit in many more: it bulks far larger in the teaching than one realizes, until one reads the Evangelists through instead of picking out the most comfortable texts: one cannot get rid of it without tearing the New Testament to tatters. We cannot repudiate Hell without altogether repudiating Christ.

–Dorothy Sayers
In the world it is called Tolerance, but in hell it is called Despair. . . the sin that believes in nothing, cares for nothing, seeks to know nothing, interferes with nothing, enjoys nothing, hates nothing, finds purpose in nothing, lives for nothing, and remains alive because there is nothing for which it will die.

–Dorothy Sayers
While I is perhaps inappropriate to offer sweeping criticism of scholars whose work I respect and from whom I have learned a great deal, I must say that the above treatments of Jesus are unfair in that each presentation limits the evidence of the Gospels to a handful of sayings or events and builds an entire picture of Jesus primarily from one strand of the Gospel tradition. Yes, Jesus was a wise sage and a deeply religious man, and his teachings were undoubtedly more socially revolutionary than many evangelicals imagine; each of these portraits says something truthful about Jesus. At a bare minimum, they need to be combined for a fuller presentation.
My fundamental disagreement with each of them is that such a Jesus would never have been crucified, would never have drawn the fire that he did, would never have commanded the following that he did, and would never have created a movement that still shakes the world. A Jesus who went around saying wise and witty things would not have been threatening enough to have been crucified during Passover when he was surrounded by hundreds who liked him. A Jesus who was a religious genius who helped people in their relationship with God and was kind, compassionate, and gentle would not have been crucified either.

–Scot McKnight

This is actually a book that I avoided for some time.  How exciting does it sound?  Memoirs of An Ordinary Pastor?  Who wants to read about an ordinary pastor?  I knew my theology didn’t like just following “rock star” pastors.  But that’s what I gravitated toward like everyone else in my practice.  But a couple of weeks ago, I was really moved, I think by the Spirit, to purchase this book by D.A. Carson, his effort to share with us the ministry of his dad.  I was really, really encouraged by this book.

First, it was encouraging and humbling to see how God used in really big ways somebody whose ministry was highly ordinary.  Look at his son, in the first place!  He also was used greatly in reaching French-speaking Canada for Christ.

Second, it was encouraging to read about his dad’s struggles, about how he wrestled with his calling as a pastor, seeing his many shortcomings and sins.  It was interesting to see his inner turmoil, written down on the pages of his journals, while everyone around him saw him as godly and gifted.  I feel his same struggles.  The book reminded me of my hope in Jesus.

If you are a pastor, this is a must read.  If not, this could help you encourage your pastor.  Thanks, Dr. Carson for this book that fed my soul way more than I could have imagined.

Related, consider reading this post on “paper pastors” and this one on “evangelical stardom.”

The people of Karis gathered this past Sunday in the Missouri Theatre Center for the Arts.  The band was loud and skilled, as usual.  More importantly, they led us in joyful, yet solemn, worship, as usual.  Below is the liturgy and my sermon points.

Karis Community Church - The Gathering - Sunday, June 7th, 2009 10:00 am
The Call
Call to Worship

Opening Song
Indescribable (Laura Story, Jesse Reeves)

The Gospel
Mark 7:6b-7 - Luke Daugherty
Confession of Sin 2.2.40 (The Worship Sourcebook)
2 Corinthians 8:9 - Luke Daugherty
You Have Redeemed My Soul (Don Chaffer)

Songs of Worship
Lord, Dissolve My Frozen Heart (Words: Thomas Kelly, 1769-1855. Chorus by Brian T. Murphy. Music: Brian T. Murphy, 2006)
All I Have is Yours (Bobby Gilles, Rebbeca Bales)
Malachi 3:10

Welcome
Passing the Peace
Welcome - Ryan Worley
The Word Preached - The Almighty {and the} Dollar: Be Sacrificial in Your Giving Kevin Larson (Luke 21:1-4)

The Supper
Free Grace (Lyrics: Joseph Hart and Matthew Smith; Music: Matthew Smith)
Serving the Bread and the Cup
The Bread and the Cup

Community Life
Introduction of New Member - Kevin Larson
Prayers of the Church - Aarik Danielsen
1 Chronicles 29:10-22

Closing Song
To Christ the Lord (Samuel Stennet, Laura Taylor)
Receiving the Offering

The Sending
2 Corinthians 9:6-8 - Luke Daugherty

Be Sacrificial In Your Giving (Luke 21:1-4) - Kevin P. Larson
1. The heart is the issue.
2. What kind of heart does Jesus desire?

Four Adverbs That Should Describe Our Church Giving
1. Give primarily (universal, but chiefly local)
2. Give systematically (spontaneous, but mainly disciplined)
3. Give joyfully (dutiful, but increasingly cheerful)
4. Give sacrificially

Be Sacrificial In Your Giving (Luke 21:1-4)
1. Give mercifully
2. Give worshipfully
3. Give sacrificially

What about tithing?

1. Tithing was widespread in ancient nations, not just in Israel
2. Tithing amounted to a tax system for God’s people
3. Tithing was never intended to be the end of Israel’s giving
4. Tithing involved giving more like 20-30%
5. Tithing can lead to, or flow from, a sinful heart: legalistic pride, wrongful ownership
6. Tithing can lead to unproductive debates
7. Tithing is never commanded in the New Testament
8. Tithing is part of the law we’re freed from by Jesus
9. Tithing leads to disproportionate giving
10. Tithing should be understood as a starting point

“It would be easy to list such questions for a page or two without ever asking, ‘How can I manage my affairs so that I can give more?’ That is surely a better question than ‘What’s the correct interpretation so that I can do whatever’s required and then get on with my life?’”  D.A. Carson

New Testament Grace Giving (2 Cor. 8:1-15)

1. Gave by grace of God (v. 1)
2. Gave out of affliction and from poverty (v. 2)
3. Gave joyfully (v. 2)
4. Gave generously (v. 2)
5. Gave sacrificially (v. 3)
6. Gave enthusiastically (v. 4)
7. Gave comprehensively (v. 5)
8. Gave excellently (v. 7)
9. Gave lovingly (v.8).
10. Gave Christianly (v. 9)
11. Gave faithfully (vv. 10-11)
12. Gave proportionately (vv. 12)
13. Gave mercifully (vv. 13-15)

What about investing?
1. Questions:

• Do you want to miss out on the blessing of giving?
• Do you want to assure it goes to the kingdom and to the right places?
• Do you want to risk that the economy will change?
• What if your heart changes and you don’t follow through?
• What if you die before you give what you intended?

2. Keys:

• God can multiply your money more than the stock market
• It doesn’t take any faith to give when you’re dead
• Giving is the best way to fight against materialism
• God blesses us in order to bless others (Ps. 67)

“God prospers me not to raise my standard of living, but to raise my standard of giving.”
Randy Alcorn, The Treasure Principle

Be Sacrificial In Your Giving (Luke 21:1-4)
1. The heart Jesus desires is one that trusts Him fully, and, as a result gives sacrificially out of worship and with view to mission.
2. Giving as a gospel issue:
a) Comprehend what He has done?
b) Find our identity in Him?
c) Grasp the gospel, will give sacrificially.
3. Responding to the gospel
4. In God We Trust?

I have felt eager this week to share some overall encouragement regarding our summer community group series, Awakening. Both our leaders’ meeting on Sunday night, along with my own community group discussion last night, greatly increased my excitement for this series and have strengthened my desire to see God move here at Karis.

First off, I am encouraged by the shift in perspective that I have seen in many among us upon really taking time to consider this subject. It’s no secret that words like “revival” stir up some pretty strange associations in our minds. Living as we do on the heels of 2 centuries of some bizarre movements within the American church, we all (understanably) bring some pretty major baggage to this topic. To top it off, many of us probably grew up experiencing some of the stranger and less biblical manifestations and pursuits of “revival.” But in the past week, I have heard numerous people say things along these lines: “I was not excited when I heard what we were going to study this summer. I had no idea what this could really be about. But after reading the article I have gotten really eager to dive into this.” I even witnessed a few folks in my c-group have a complete change of attitude toward the study as we discussed it last night. This is very encouraging to me, and gives me hope that we are coming into it with soft, humble hearts that are ready to seek God in this.

Secondly, I am encouraged by the immediate deep level of engagement that I have seen thus far. At both the leaders meeting and my own group, people were clearly pondering serious issues related to the concept of revival. The questions of God’s role and our own place in making it happen were really hitting people’s hearts and minds and causing them to think creatively about what this could look like. I had trouble keeping our discussion at any sort of reasonable length! May God keep our hearts so engaged in this.

Thirdly, I have been encouraged as we’ve discussed this idea of creating a church ready for revival, or as Ortlund puts it, one with “revival potentialities.” We had some fruitful discussion in my group last night where I could see that my people were thinkng on all levels in terms of how we as individuals and as a body could prepare for revival, and what it might look like if it happens. One of the biggest things that stood out to us from our first lesson was this idea that revival is really just an intense season of blessing on normal New Testament Christianity (Armstrong). So, we spent a lot of time talking about how this isn’t about creating a bunch of new Christian fads or special revival tricks, but rather, getting down to gospel-centered, biblical Christian living. This was an important thing to clarify. And in relationship to that, I am encouraged as I look back over the past year at Karis. We spent 8 months unfolding every aspect of the gospel both in doctrine and practice in our community groups. We spent 6 months looking at all of God’s attributes, both on some Sunday mornings and in our Katalyst meetings. We’re walking slowly and sweetly through Luke’s gospel, seeing who Jesus is and what he demands of us. We’re diving into the gospel and celebrating God for who he is. And we’re seeing these things impacting the way we think and live. I think we’re already, by God’s grace, creating the fertile group for revival. May he keep propelling us forward in this!

And lastly, I want to reiterate what I said to the leaders and to our community group last night. Ultimately, the pursuit of revival has to be about pursuing God. If we get too wrapped up in defining every detail of what we’re looking for, we can easily sight of the point. To be sure, there are things we see in Scripture to help us better understand key aspects of revival. There are things we can learn from history. But ultimately revival is about a hunger for God. It’s come to the end of ourselves and our idols, realizing they don’t satisfy, and thus looking to Christ alone and pleading with him to be the all-satisfying water of life that he is. And even more, it’s a hunger for others to make him their treasure as well, and ultimately, for his glory to shine on the earth. God is the end goal here. We want to feast on him, and lead others to that feast. Let’s not forget that as we dive into this study. May God hear our prayers and meet us with his power and grace, in his timing.

“Oh that you would rend the heavens and come down,
that the mountains might quake at your presence—
as when fire kindles brushwood
and the fire causes water to boil—
to make your name known to your adversaries,
and that the nations might tremble at your presence!”

-Isaiah 64:1-2

We were back in our Theatre home this Sunday, and it was home, sweet home.  Ryan Worley preached and did a great job, as usual.  Below is Sunday’s liturgy, along with Ryan’s sermon points.

Karis Community Church - The Gathering - Sunday, May 31st, 2009 10:00 am
The Call (Opening Song)
All Creatures of Our God and King (St. Francis of Assisi, David Crowder)
Revelation 4:11
Psalm 139:14-18, 23-24

The Gospel
Confession of Sin: Idolatry (Karis Community Church Liturgy)
Jesus Paid it All (Lyrics: Elvina M. Hall, Arr. and Chorus by Kristian Stanfill)
Isaiah 44:21-23
At the Foot of the Cross (Joe Day)
A Prayer for Faith (Joe Day)

Welcome
Passing the Peace

Welcome - Jeremy Linneman
The Word Preached - The Almighty {and the} Dollar: Don’t Forget Your Taxes - Ryan Worley (Luke 20:19-26)

The Supper
All I Have is Yours (Bobby Gilles, Rebbeca Bales)
Serving the Bread and the Cup
The Bread and the Cup

Community Life
Introduction of New Member - Kevin Larson
Prayers of the Church - Alison Ballou

Closing Song
Who Is Like You? (Mac Powell)
Receiving the Offering

The Sending
Romans 11:33-12:2

Ryan’s sermon points from Luke 20:19-26:

Authority and Caesar

Recently I had the privilege of doing the wedding ceremony for Ryan Worley and Melissa Molder.  Here is the text from that message:

Hear the word of the Lord from 1 Peter 4:1-7.
1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives,
2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear
4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,
6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Ryan and Melissa, as you enter into this covenant together today, you know the potential landmines.  You have heard all the things the experts say lead to marriage problems - money, sex, communication, and the like.  But at the root of all of the difficulties in those areas is a more fundamental one: sin.  Idolatry - where we take good things and make them ultimate things.  This leads to all sorts of sins of thought, word, and deed that flow out of our hearts.  And these show their ugly heads in marriage.  The only thing that can get deep into our hearts and save us and change us is the gospel of our Lord.  Our only hope in marriage is grace.

Here is the brief statement I’ll briefly unpack for you today: Let your marriage be a picture of the gospel, because you as Christians have experienced the gospel.

Let’s take the first part of that statement: let your marriage be a picture of the gospel.  Here in 1 Peter 3:1-6, you are taught by God, Melissa, to follow him with respect.  This means that he’s not your girlfriend.  Peter says, in v. 1, to “be submissive to your own husbands.”  He speaks also, in v. 2, of “respectful and pure conduct.”  God calls you to follow him, to submit to him, to honor him, Melissa.  His fundamental need is not intimate, loving communication - most men can do with very few words a day - but respect.  He will, in minutes, become your leader.  Treat him like one, Melissa.  Be submissive to Ryan.  He’s not your girlfriend.  You’ll need those, too, but that’s not Ryan.  He’s the dude, the leader, in the relationship.

But your temptation will be to treat him like the girlfriend and act like you’re the dude.  That’s the original sin Eve committed, and every woman has struggled with it since.  You’ll be tempted to take the steering wheel and drive the family down the road.  That’s why Peter says, in verses 3-6, to not let your beauty be all about what’s on the outside, but rather that on the inside.  He says to have a “gentle and quiet spirit” that brings delight to God and comes out for all to see as respectful, submissive behavior.  So, Melissa, follow him with respect.  He’s the dude, not your girlfriend.

Ryan, treat her with gentleness.  This means that she is NOT a dude, brother.  In verse 7, Peter tells you and me and all husbands to “live with your wives in an understanding way.”  Literally it says we are to be  “…living together with them according to knowledge.”  Fundamentally, this has to do with knowledge of God.  But it also has to do with knowledge of the woman God has given you.  And hear me clearly: she is NOT a dude.  You will need dudes in your life, but that can’t be her.

Peter speaks of you “showing honor to her as the weaker vessel.”  She’s not weaker spiritually.  That’s clear.  Melissa has a deep, strong faith evident to all around her.  She’s not weaker intellectually.  I’m sure she can teach you a thing or two, Ryan.  Likely what Peter means is that she’s weaker physically - you were made to be the provider and protector - and perhaps emotionally - you were made to carry the weight of responsibility in the family.  So don’t throw her around like cheap bachelor-pad Pyrex, either emotionally or physically.  She’s fine china.  God wants you to show her honor.  And you do that by not treating her like a dude.

Your temptation will be to treat her like a dude and act like you’re her girlfriend.  Why did Eve sin in the garden?  It’s because Adam wasn’t a strong leader.  He was acting like a junior high girl, abdicating his responsibility.  That’s why in the New Testament, Adam is blamed, not Eve.  In calling Melissa to follow you, it assumes that you’re actually going to be a man and provide leadership for her.  So be the dude, Ryan.  And do it lovingly.  Her need is not someone to give her high-fives and stroke her ego.  She wants intimate, tender love.  Lead her with gentleness, Ryan.  You’re the dude, not her girlfriend.

OK, so why did I begin by saying, let your marriage be a picture of the gospel?  It’s because in Ephesians 5, the Lord tells us it provides a picture of the relationship between Christ and His church.  The man imitates Christ who leads His church with gentleness, loving her sacrificially even to the point of death.  The woman plays the role of the church, who follows Christ, respecting and trusting Him, grateful for His care.  When you two interact like that, it shows a beautiful picture of the gospel.  Follow him, friends.  Show the world this amazing grace.

But does that really encourage you?  Submitting to a man is hard.  Loving a woman is tough.  You would despair if not for the second half of my statement.  We just saw let your marriage be a picture of the gospel.  It’s because you as Christians have experienced the gospel.

As Peter tells you why, Ryan, you should live with her wisely and honor her tenderly, he says this: “since they are heirs with you of the grace of life.”  Why treat her rightly?  She has received the grace of the gospel just like you.  Even though you have different roles and functions in the relationship, you’re equal in dignity and worth.  You both have a great inheritance in front of you.  It’s eternal life - joy now and forever.  That’s what Peter’s talking about here.  And, as he says, it’s rooted in grace.  Love her because you’re both partakers of the gospel.  And, this is also a reason for you to follow him, Melissa.  He has received grace along with you.  He’s a fellow heir.  He’s found life, now and eternal.  Therefore, respect Him.

But, as I just said, this isn’t only a reason why you should obey.  It also deals with how you can obey.  The gospel of grace provides amazing power.  Here is that gospel: created in His image to be in relationship with God, under His lordship, we rebelled.  Sin and death entered the world, and we now are all corrupt and guilty, deserving judgment.

But God didn’t leave us in that state.  He sent His Son Jesus, who put on flesh, and came and walked on earth, living a perfect life, obeying as we should have obeyed.  He then went to the cross, dying a shameful death, dying as we deserved to die.  Now, if we turn from our sin and flee in faith to Christ, we can be saved.  That is the good news, what we call the gospel.  Christ’s obedient life is given to us.  His death pays for our sins in our place.  But it doesn’t end there.  After bringing us in relationship to Him, He begins to work, by His great power, obedience in us, making us more and more like Him.

In marriage, this looks like us more and more giving a picture of the gospel to those around us - wives respectfully following their husbands, and husbands lovingly leading their wives.  Why do we fight against those callings God gives us in 1 Peter 3?  It’s due to deeper idols of the heart.  It’s us not clinging in faith to the person and work of Christ.  It’s us not fully finding our identity in Him.  It’s us not believing He cares for our best.  Only the gospel can break the power of those idols.  Only the gospel can melt our hearts and change, as a result, our thoughts, words, and deeds.  Only the gospel can redeem sinners.  This is our hope.  These commands to obey are grounded in the hope that, through Him, you actually can obey.

Ryan and Melissa, God is doing amazing things through you as individuals in the church and now as a couple.  I know He has called you to the broken and the weak in Columbia, Missouri or in Latin America or in East Africa or wherever He may lead.  Picture the gospel in the way we see here in 1 Peter 3.  But rely on the power of the gospel to do this, friends.  Don’t do it in your own strength.  You are broken and weak, also.  Show people the grace of God, how it is sufficient in your weakness and how it can be sufficient in theirs, as well.  Picture and trust and tell this gospel that is amazingly good news of grace.